It’s a skill, it’s a must have skillful means! Avoiding conflict is not being a loser or being weak! But it can be seen as a brave action; a kind and thoughtful act! Avoiding confrontation is a double edged sword. It’s a pattern; it can be a lifelong pattern. To avoid the pain that confrontation causes. Being the youngest in the family while I was growing up, I have learnt that the end result in confrontation was just awfully ugly, painful for days and months to come. As the result of this and through experience learnt I have been avoiding confrontation dreadfully in my working life, in my marriage, in my dealings with my family. It used to give me the shakes and give me an fluttering heart even when I just witnessed confrontation. It took me years to overturn the pattern of my thought, to overcome my fear of confrontation. But truly, confrontation is not all that bad. We do need to have confrontation sometimes. For example, in nature; storm, fire, earthquake and flood is the act of confrontation. It’s the imbalanced of the elements. Too much of one or two elements that caused the eruption (confrontation). After an event, once it settled and moved on; the soil becomes more pliable, more fertile and life starts to come back… With human beings; for example confrontation is needed to clear the air, move the feelings, make the decision, thought in moving forward, amending old patterns, help you to shift; to erupt or loosen up the quake and the ice… Confrontation is a movement; is a standing up to some act; standing up to oneself when it’s needed. It’s an act of a hero; it’s a journey; it’s a realisation process; the end result could be joy, could be liberation; could be a new beginning.
Ling
Health and Happy Heart 
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